More than a whole month away from my beloved space – I don’t think this has ever happened before. Why, you ask? No, you wouldn’t bother so much, I am sure. Well, whether you ask or not, the reason is that there is a certain block in my mind. Words just won’t come out. On my way to work, or when I am just sitting doing nothing (mostly at office. Oh wait, you know that already!), or when I listen to a certain song, or when I am walking around the campus, or… you get the drift, right? So when my mind is not doing any serious work-work, there is still a background train of thoughts that keep running (ah, girls’ brains can NEVER be idle). So this background train of thoughts keeps giving me more than enough topics I could write about – topics ranging from a short story to funny incidents with friends to innovative ways to mess up your home to how to become friends with your neighborhood’s stray dogs. But then there was something blocking me from opening MS-Word, in the normal world it is called laziness. Something blocks my mind from forming words, now that - I don’t know what it is.
And now that I have fought laziness and have started typing my mind out, words fail me again; which is why I am taking so long to finish this post. This has never happened to me. It has always been Open MS-Word, start typing, finish typing, read once (not always), open blog, login, copy and paste from Word, Publish post – Done. The process of actually writing the post has never been so taxing, it has always been a free flow of words, no thinking involved whatever. Now I am thinking, stopping, deleting, re-writing, re-phrasing, phew!
The last few weeks have been quite stressful – at work and otherwise. I have gotten engaged – I am feeling very happy and am confident that my marriage will be successful. The two of us have talked and seem to agree on the freedom and individuality part of it (which was a major concern for me, oh, you know that already). Although I feel happy inside, I don’t feel like sharing it with the world. I should be shouting it out from the rooftops, but I feel like it is no big deal. I got engaged, so what? And with the engagement comes a whole bunch of wedding-work. I have been running around like a squirrel to get things done for the D-day and trust me, there is so much pressure on the bride and I am not so good at handling it. Work-wise, kosu tholla innum theerala. In fact, it has become so worse that I have actually started counting from 10 to 1 out loud.
Perhaps all the stress got together and formed a mental block, crippling me from writing anything, but it is not for long. I have to work on getting this block removed (oh yes, we have been having problems with plumbing and this talk about removing the block and all could be a reflection of that) which is why I started writing this post. This is again just a state of mind, being of no real use to anybody (nor are any of my other posts, but come on, cut me some slack – I am the bride after all). I hope this too will pass and I will be back to normal and will write much easier.