After a rather long wait, I finally got to watch ‘I am number four’ yesterday at Inox, Garuda Mall, Bangalore. And surprise surprise, contrary to what I had heard from friends that it was a movie with aliens and special effects and all that, ‘I am number four’ is actually a high school rom-com, and a disconnected one at that. It has all the stereotypes in it – the pretty girl, the bully, the new good-looking guy (who needless to say is the hero), the geek – makes you think it is pretty much an ordinary high school drama that you might watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon on TV when there is nothing better to do. What makes ‘I am number four’ different is the alien twist to it – oh yes, there are aliens in the movie and all; actually two different species of aliens. Now beat that!
The best part, no, the only good part of the movie is the first two minutes – number three getting killed in the middle of a forest in Kenya. It was a great, racy start that deserved a better movie to follow it. The scene then shifts to a beach where our hot hero is surfing and swimming with a hotter girl and he gets a new scar in his leg – signifying that number three has died and the Mogadorians will come for him next because he is number four. It is later revealed that he is from Planet Lorien which was invaded by the Mogadorians (see, I told you there were two different types of aliens) and he and eight other children were brought to Earth by their guardians. Both the Loriens and the Mogadorians have a human-like appearance. But to make the dumb audience know who is good and who is evil, the Loriens are shown as super hot while the Mogadorians are shown having a shaved and tattooed head and marks on their face as if they had some ring-worm related infection.
Under the name John Smith, he and his guardian Henri move to Paradise, Ohio and he gets enrolled into a school there. This is where he adopts a dog (which is actually a big lizard that turns into a dog behind a bush – don’t ask me how), meets the girl, falls in puppy love with her, helps the geek (who happens to be a pseudo-astronomer’s son whose father went missing after finding out an alien rock), and beats up the bully with his superpowers – doing all the hero stuff. But his real test comes when the Mogadorians sniff him out and come after him. But with all his Rajinikanth-like powers, a super-hot Lorien number six and his dog-that-changes-into-a-big-dog-like-beast, he is able to kill all the Mogadorians and drive off into the sunset with the geek, his lizard-turned-dog-that-turned-beast, following number six – the skintight cat-suit wearing Lorien, leaving behind his girlfriend and the bully (who like Desi movie villains turns a good Samaritan in the climax). He also says that he will come back for his girlfriend which means there is a sequel planned. Well, that’s scary!
I should admit that the movie was a visual treat not just with all the special effects that an “alien” movie warrants, but also a super hot hero (Alex Pettyfer – I am in love with you) and an equally hot number six (played by Teresa Palmer) who my husband wouldn’t take his eyes off. Also as I said, all Loriens are shown to be super hot – that includes John’s guardian Henri (played by Timothy Olyphant) too. What was actually missing in this movie was the emotional connect the audience usually has with a super-hit movie – even when Henri, John’s dad-like-guardian dies, I didn’t feel bad. Now you have to remember that I am the type that cried my eyes out in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Titanic, et al. The only time I probably felt bad was when the dog gets injured while trying to save John from the big freaky Mogadorian beast and come to him limping in the climax.
Looking back at it, I wished I were number three – that way I’d be dead even before the movie started.