Wednesday, March 23, 2011

10 Things I Wanna Change About My Office

It is no secret that I hate the profession I belong to. Well, I don’t exactly hate it; it just annoys me so much. Maybe a few changes at the workplace that could make it a wee bit better?

10 things I want to change about my workplace:

  1. The annoying teammate a.k.a ‘Kosu’ Read about him here
  2. My office timings – from the current 11:30am to 8pm to an early morning shift (say from 6:30am to 3pm or so) – just so I can leave office early while the rest of them still have a good 6 hours to slog. Yes, I am sadistic like that. It would also work because that way I’d have the entire evening to myself to do what I enjoy doing like going for a run or something as simple as having a plate of paani puri which my late evening shift doesn’t allow me to.
  3. More works of fiction than just the boring techie books at the on-campus library. Seriously, there are people who read books other than the tech-whatever stuff. God, I don’t even know what they are called.
  4. On-campus classes to learn a foreign language (read: Spanish). I don’t know why, but I have taken a huge liking towards the language. Maybe my sub-conscious mind is so obsessed with Rafa or something.
  5. We should totally have beer vending machines instead of these coffee vending machines. Let’s face it – it improves productivity to a large extent, you know? Ok, on second thoughts, let’s not do completely away with those coffee machines either – sometimes you need to stay awake. Sometimes.
  6. A strict dress code for women who carry those extra pounds. Dear ladies, it is ok to have those extra pounds if you love having them. If you are trying without success to get rid of them, keep at it, you will lose them some day. All the Best for that. But please, please stop wearing those ‘S’ sized t-shirts. They are for people who are small. ‘S’ = small, you get it?

  7. That hot girl should be fired. That way, that hot guy who is so smitten by the hot girl will be smitten by me. Ok, sometimes I am over-confident. Over-confidence is to me what dark chocolate brownies are to other women.
  8. We SHOULD have a place where the employees can bring our pets – a) the pets can socialize and b) we can pet our pets in between work. And I will be the first person to apply for the job of the pets’ in-charge. There is NOTHING better than playing with dogs and cats all day AND getting paid for it. Really.
  9. The salary should increase by 10% every month. You heard it right. EVERY MONTH! Ok, some might call me greedy but hey, I am asking for only 10%. Also, THIS should be the first point in this list.
  10. Men should not be allowed to wear sneakers with formal shirt and pants – that is so uncool. Also, no floaters to office please. No, floaters and socks is not ok either. That’s just yuck. #Kthnxbai
I am sure you have thought about such things too. Anything more to add to this list? Leave a comment and I will implement it (if and) when I open my own company! ;-)


  1. #1 - had to be Kosu!!
    #6 - I totally second it..
    #7 - Guys in ur off shud not find yu in tat category!!!
    #8 - Most girls myt bring them their BF as pets

  2. @Chan
    #1 - What to do? People have their effects ;-)
    #7 - Vendam, valikkudhu... Aludhuruven.
    #8 - Didn't think of that. I was thinking more about pups and kittens. Inga onna vechutte thaanga mudiyala. Idhula mathavaa BF-ah vera paathukanuma? :-(

  3. Hi! first off, Congrats for your marriage!
    Secondly, whats this anti-floaters+socks wave everywhere? why does everyone hate them so much?

    (you can infer that i'm one of those "guys" who wears floaters+socks to work)


    - N.

  4. @N
    Thank you for your wishes!
    Well, it is just so... so... what's the word for it? Yeah.. it's disgusting. Trust me. If you are single and looking to mingle with girls from your work, floaters+socks is gonna get you nowhere. Sorry to burst the bubble, but it's not cool. In fact, it is such a turn off. #kthnxbai

  5. Hey belated wishes on your marriage!

    yet another entertaining post. i liked the beer vending machine for sure. u are so right abt the socks/floaters combo. kept thinking i was the only one who felt weird abt it, gud to know that a handful of sane ppl too think the same.

    btw if u luv pets so much, y dont u start a Pet Care?
    maybe in a mall or cinemas or even offices. am sure it wud hav enuf patronage for u to sustain atleast. its worth giving a thought!

  6. @celebrate ur FREEdom
    I knew most guys would agree on the beer vending machine idea. Beats me why the companies are not executing it yet. ;-)
    Oh yes, that's an awful combo - the floaters + socks thing. Even plain floaters are better.
    I checked. In order to start Pet care as a business apparently requires some professional qualification. Like one should be a vet or something so in case a pet falls sick, we can take knowledgeable decisions. But I love pets, yes.

    Thank you for your wishes on my marriage. I will convey the same to my husband. :-)

  7. Point duly noted.

    But I find them more comfortable than shoes, so 've always worn them without giving it a second thought :)

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