It is no secret that I hate the profession I belong to. Well, I don’t exactly hate it; it just annoys me so much. Maybe a few changes at the workplace that could make it a wee bit better?
10 things I want to change about my workplace:
- The annoying teammate a.k.a ‘Kosu’ Read about him here
- My office timings – from the current 11:30am to 8pm to an early morning shift (say from 6:30am to 3pm or so) – just so I can leave office early while the rest of them still have a good 6 hours to slog. Yes, I am sadistic like that. It would also work because that way I’d have the entire evening to myself to do what I enjoy doing like going for a run or something as simple as having a plate of paani puri which my late evening shift doesn’t allow me to.
- More works of fiction than just the boring techie books at the on-campus library. Seriously, there are people who read books other than the tech-whatever stuff. God, I don’t even know what they are called.
- On-campus classes to learn a foreign language (read: Spanish). I don’t know why, but I have taken a huge liking towards the language. Maybe my sub-conscious mind is so obsessed with Rafa or something.
- We should totally have beer vending machines instead of these coffee vending machines. Let’s face it – it improves productivity to a large extent, you know? Ok, on second thoughts, let’s not do completely away with those coffee machines either – sometimes you need to stay awake. Sometimes.
- A strict dress code for women who carry those extra pounds. Dear ladies, it is ok to have those extra pounds if you love having them. If you are trying without success to get rid of them, keep at it, you will lose them some day. All the Best for that. But please, please stop wearing those ‘S’ sized t-shirts. They are for people who are small. ‘S’ = small, you get it?
- That hot girl should be fired. That way, that hot guy who is so smitten by the hot girl will be smitten by me. Ok, sometimes I am over-confident. Over-confidence is to me what dark chocolate brownies are to other women.
- We SHOULD have a place where the employees can bring our pets – a) the pets can socialize and b) we can pet our pets in between work. And I will be the first person to apply for the job of the pets’ in-charge. There is NOTHING better than playing with dogs and cats all day AND getting paid for it. Really.
- The salary should increase by 10% every month. You heard it right. EVERY MONTH! Ok, some might call me greedy but hey, I am asking for only 10%. Also, THIS should be the first point in this list.
- Men should not be allowed to wear sneakers with formal shirt and pants – that is so uncool. Also, no floaters to office please. No, floaters and socks is not ok either. That’s just yuck. #Kthnxbai