Friday, October 17, 2008

The feminist in me...

Alright, this post comes from me when I am very very mad at somebody I know, say Mr. X.

We, a group of 4, were talking about how the market is down and the IT sector is chucking out so many people and what we should do. Casually, I said, "I prefer going back to a college and becoming a lecturer. Though the salary would be less, I will have satisfaction because I love teaching." Fair enough???

And then Mr. X opens his mouth and says, "There is no problem for you girls... Even if you go home and sit without working, no one is going to ask you anything. But for guys like us, work is madatory."

"So is it for us. My mother wouldn't welcome me if I go home and sit and ask her to feed me. I have my commitments and I need to be in the job as much as you want to."

"Ha ha... You can anyday get married and your husband will take care of you."

"Well, even these days guys are looking for working girls."

"No, even if you say you are not working, he'll work for you and you can sit at home, cook, clean, wash and watch mega-serials and keep crying..."

I didn't want to shout there as I didn't want to attract public attention. I actually felt like... Well... (Sigh)...

What do you guys feel about the comments made by Mr. X? Are girls only for cooking, cleaning, washing and watching mega-serials? Would you or would you not encourage your mother/sister/wife to be good at her career? Or are you a follower of Hitler like our Mr.x?


  1. Evry single man der knows the importance of a women's career and how high she had come up in life these days. Its just that they don wan to accept it. You could just ask him if he would allow his sis or may be wife or daughter to sit idle at home if she is a degree holder. Only few ppl talk such things sandy. Just ignore it :)

  2. @Kavitha

    Thanks for dropping by... I guess I forgot to include that Mr. X's mother and sister both are working women!!! And he says his dad would allow them to resign and not him from work!!! I guess it is a serious case of male chauvinism!

  3. strongly oppose Mr.X... I cant even imagine my wife siting at home. Reason: She would anyways be qualified. Why the hell should she waste 15+ years of education? Again, if she is working then she would be in a better position to understand my schedule and tensions.. after all a professional understands a professional better :-) maybe Mr.X is not matured enuf to understand things.. take it light girlie.. cheers..

    and guess wut.. feminism is no better than male chauvinism.. both describe people who feel highly insecure in the society.. m sure u r not a feminist :-)

  4. Well, first of all... How come Mr.X make such a stupid decision without thinking of the future of the so called "work place fun"... if all guys start thinking the way Mr.X does... how do you think we guys would have fun at work... we'd probably miss some good girls, we'll miss the important role at work... "FLIRT" !!!! and yeah, 20+ years of education and sitting at home... Naaaa... not working dude. Make sure you're away from some Mahila Samithi, you cant stand their protest. Imagine, whether its girls or guys, we all have faced this question in our childhood- "What do you wanna be?" and at that point of time, we'd would have given some stupid answers, but later on, we work our a** to make it a reality. Mr.X, did you e1 imagine of how many times these girls must have missed their breakfast or lunch or dinner cause of an exam at school or college. Did you imagine of how many times they must have slept late and woke up early cause of an exam... how many punishments they must have faced at school ;-) cause they missed a home work or cause of scoring less in their exams. I think we should value those times where they struggled to get to a position where they can "Also" be a part of this role called "Bread Winner". Peace !

  5. @sawan

    Thanks for proving that there are sensible men on the earth!!!

    And yeah, "feminist" is not exactly what I am... I just get angered by such reckless comments.


    Very well said... I'm happy to know there are so many guys like you who understand what girls have been through!!!

    I seriously hope Mr.X changes his point of view and join the "sensible male" group...

  6. Well first of all...

    Hitler was pro-women in society. German women were even allowed to join the army. Ergo...'Mr.X' is certainly no follower of Hitler.

    Sorry had to defend the man, we share birthdays ;)

    Second, it's a personal decision to be made between family members. Often a woman sitting at home might be as simple a reason as to give the kids a better upbringing. Should the wife work? Depends....does she want to??

    Mr.X's only valid point seems to be that men have to work.There is general stigma attached with men who sit at home and live off the career woman(wife's) earnings while the vice-versa is not always true.

    I'mm generally for all people doing something constructive with their time. Even if it doesn't directly translate to monetary benefits for the family.

    What I'm against is some doofus feeling insecure coz his wife is climbing the career ladder faster than he is, and therefore deciding she should be a homemaker. That's a no-no!

    How you been sandy? Got some time at work...going through all your entries now..

  7. Dost, Rules never existed that man would work and woman would be a home maker, it was practised by our ancestors and few of them continue with it.

    I thought Chennai has always been conservative and as such your society isn't all that "GOOD TO BE" with women working.

    Women working is just an add on to the lifestyle, but then, its too difficult to be at the office place without gals..

    We guys need some good time with the stupidity these gals jump into... :-)

  8. @Abhi

    Ahh, I forgot you share your b'day with Hitler... Anyways, thanks for dropping by dude, inspite of your busy schedule.

    Well, in this case, Mr.X's point was that the woman can afford to sit at home and live off her husband's earnings, while the vice-versa isn't well-received by the society. He went to the extent of saying educating the girl child itself is unnecessary. That is something I couldn't accept...

    In any case, he shouldn't be the one to decide what any woman (be it his mom/sister/spouse/daughter) should or should not be doing with her career. It is for the woman to decide.. Leave it to her!!!


    I didn't know you considered all women to be dumb. How dare you!!! I'll come to B'lore to kick your ass... By the way, you and Sabal thought alike about how boring the workplace would be without girls...

  9. Hi first time here. What I suggest is look up with attitude at Mr X. He feels inferior to working girls and I think he is jealous of the kind who balance both professional and personal lives well.

  10. @ Preethi

    Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you enjoyed reading my posts (and would do so in the future too).

    And well-said abt Mr.X's jealousy. Can't men tolerate the success of women??? Anyways, I hope he changes his attitude before it is too late!

  11. And look at me, I quit my job and sitting at home, hitting on successful girls with huge paychecks so that, she takes care of me... :)

    Not all of them are sexists! hehe...

  12. @Soham Das

    Hey, how have you been doing? Thnx for ur comments.

    Yeah, I found a couple of guys in my office who share ur opinion about staying back at home while their girlfriends being the bread-winners. That is a pretty broad-minded approach, I would say.

    By the way, my dad stayed at home and took care of us while my mom worked. So, it isn't a taboo I guess...

  13. Hey dear, inspite of your constant nagging (:P), you know am not able to comment on your posts coz am really held up with work lately (lolz... it's a public place you see.. u know the truth ;)) But truly am a huge fan of your blog..

    well.. coming to the point, this guy had made a very shallow statement. It's very obvious that he'd been cultivated with these ideas by his family and surroundings. Firstly, it's a girl's prerogative to chose to work or not to work. It totally depends on the family situation. But in my opinion, if both are career objective, they should try managing it. But in case if it does not work out in unavoidable situations like where you have to take care of the children, asking a guy to give up his job is not a good idea because a guy's pride is hurt. His identity and his status in the society is always based on the job he is in from cave times. The same is not true when it comes to a girl. If he wanted to bring this point out then it's fine. Just that he is not able to put it in the right way.

    But if he thinks education and her dreams doesn't matter much compared to his or makes a girl stay at home just to have an upper hand on her then he is a moron and a male chauvinist.

  14. @yals

    Thank u sooooooooo much for the comments and the beautiful change u have brought up in my blog. And it is great to know that you have been following and liking my blog.

    In his case, he wasn't brought up that way (given that both his mom and his sis are working women), so it is something he has picked up on his own!

    And yeah, if at all someone has to stay home and take care of the house, why can't it be him and not his wife? Why is that still a taboo???

  15. well,dropped here accidently...but had a nice time reading it...keep writing
    mr.x keep ur comments n narrow thinking to urself,moreover never disclose such things in front of ur wife...she might resign her job n u'll hav to make ends;)

  16. @angel
    Well said... Given the current economic scenario, one can't be so narrow-minded. Anyways, I have met replicas of Mr.X here at work now!!! That is quite sad, isn't it?


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