I wanna be a...

When I listen to some songs, I feel I should have taken up singing more seriously and continued those Carnatic music classes. When I watch Shahid Kapur dancing (and not trying to be SRK), I feel should have taken those dancing classes that my sister used to take and have something to talk to Shahid when we meet (Sigh…). When I watch the Australian Open matches, I regret not having gone for those Tennis Coaching classes that few of my friends attended; now what the hell am I supposed to talk about to Rafael Nadal when we meet? Oh, I should learn Spanish first for that, you say? Okay; that I can start even now. Well, my point is, everyone is good at something or the other – some are athletes, some are singers, some are painters, and some are trivia-freaks – each one has his/her own hobby – something they have been good at or trained in right from childhood.

I am good at nothing – I sing well enough to wake people up from sleep (so much so that few are considering my songs as their Alarm Tunes), I dance as if I am having one of those epilepsy attacks, I just can’t paint (never have and never will), I can’t even beat my 35+ years old colleague up a flight of stairs. And I am doing something I hate for a living. Sigh… Each passing day makes me feel more like a loser and hopelessly pathetic. In Chandler’s words, could life be any worse?

I need to figure out what I am good at (no, I don’t take, “You are good at nothing” for an answer). I need to contact the right person to channelize my potential. I need to take it up seriously without giving way to my laziness like I did with singing. I need something that would keep me sane (if I have not already lost my sanity) and kill my boredom and make me a better person. I am sure I will be good at what I do if only I were doing something that makes me happy. To excel in something, I have got to enjoy it. I am also sure that there are so many of you out there, stuck up doing something you hate but sticking on to it because there is no other go, praying for relief from the monotony, unable to enjoy your work/chosen field of study – simply because it was chosen by someone else.

I guess that is enough ranting for now.

Sparing you from a boring long post (read: before you choose to kill me)…

What have I gotten myself into!!!

Don’t do anything you can’t own up to. And that goes for all you back-stabbers out there. You have a problem with anyone, tell it to the concerned person or don’t tell it out at all. What is the point in complaining to a third person? That would make you a fool if the other person and the person you are complaining about are friends – did that thought ever cross your mind? No? What a hopeless idiot you are! I am sorry, but I really hope you read this blog!

Now, venting it out to a third person is totally different from complaining. What I am doing here on this blog is venting out. You got a problem with me? Come talk to me… Let’s talk and sort the shit out. Don’t be a coward! I don’t know what you are more of – a wuss or a fool. And frankly, I don’t give a damn about you. From now, it is full-on war, baby! And you are going to cry and regret your actions and run away. As Chandler says in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, the messers now become the messies… You messed with me? You messed with me? And you thought you could get away with it?

I am just miserable, aren’t I? Sigh… I need more energy than ever and I don’t even have time to eat anything. I am losing so much weight that soon I am going to go invisible. And this messer is like the worst thing that could happen to me at this time. I feel it is too cowardly to say “I quit” and get the heck out of here; I feel it is too much stress to take upon myself; I feel I am talking too much nonsense (and I am sure you agree with me on this one).

I believe in God. Is it okay to give it right back to the person (because he/she totally deserves to be hit back at) or should we leave it to God and let Him take His own sweet time to do the needful? Because for now, I am sure He has His hands full with people from Haiti and may not find time in the coming days to resolve my problem. Is this nonsense too? I need help… Any professional psychologists out there?

Confused and shattered,

Me.

Help me escape!

I finally find some free time after so many days of hectic work. Yes, I have work and yes, I am (have become) hard-working and yes, that is what kept me from writing more frequently. Trust me! On top of all these, whenever I am home, I am inundated with aunties asking me when I am going to get married – and by aunties, I mean every woman who is 30+ years of age, ranging from blood relatives to distant relatives to neighbors to I-just-met-you-in-the-bus-but-I-don’t-at-all-feel-it-is-inappropriate-to-ask-you-to-get-married-soon types. Seriously, WTF is their problem? Is it:

1. “Yaam petra inbam, peruga ivvayyagam” (Let the world experience all the happiness I experience; this expression is used generally in sarcastic comments) or
2. I am so bored with my daily mega-serials and I just want to mess up somebody’s life and who better than you or
3. I cannot digest the fact that how you are so carefree and independent or
4. I have a relative whose son is a loser and I just like making his life even more miserable (with a typical mega-serial villain-ish grin) or
5. I just want to while away some time (eating your head) during this insanely boring bus ride.

What is it? And how long do they exactly expect me to reply with a oh-so-fake smile on my face, dismissing all the urges to reply with a killer one-liner, controlling my temper and refrain from shouting out to God to forgive the aunties and take them to heaven (immediately)! And what angers me even more is when my mom finds it alright to the extent of being natural. When are they ever going to understand that when and who I want to marry is my choice and the random-aunty-I-met-five-minutes-ago-in-the-bus does not have a say in it? Just leave me alone, aunties!

Next time onwards, my reply is going to be any one of the following:

1. (With the most innocent look you have ever seen) Aunty, I am not sure who you are. (And run like crazy in the opposite direction)
2. Amma said there is something terribly wrong with my horoscope and I would have to wait for five more years before thinking about marriage.
3. I don’t want to consider marriage before at least one onsite trip (I am sure that ought to shut them up – Iyer aunties are so impressed by such ideas; on the down-side, I may never get married ;-) )
4. I want to take up brahmacharyam (and give them an hour’s lecture on giving up material desires and karma and moksha until it is their turn to escape from me).

Any other ideas are welcome! :-)

Idiots... All of us!

How many idiots! I went to watch 3 idiots (no, not in a multiplex that would have drilled a big hole in my purse) and it was worse than what I had expected. Before you conclude that I am a moron not to have liked the biggest hit movie of last year, wait till you hear more – not that it is going to change your perception about my being a moron, but at least, it will be postponed ;-) Talk about living in constant hopes! ;-)

I had shelled out 150 bucks (per ticket) in a single screen theatre (don’t tell anyone, I bought it in ‘black’) and it was after we entered the theatre that we came to know that our seats were in the very first row of the theatre. First row! And apart from a really smelly guy in the next seat, I also had to battle neck pain and oh yeah, bugs in the seat! Was the movie worth all this? There seems to be a lot of talk about the movie in the media. But if it was a promotional stunt for the movie, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Rajkumar Hirani and Chetan Bhagat are better actors than Aamir Khan, Maddy and Sharman Joshi and we are bigger idiots than anyone associated with the movie for falling for this nonsense.

All of a sudden Andhra Pradesh is getting all the media attention with KCR’s fasts and bandhs and students turning mobsters and the inimitable Tiwari-ji. Don’t be shocked if more than 20 other girls come out in the open and claim that they had been with Tiwari-ji; that is what happened to the ultimate role-model sportsperson of the last decade – Mr. Woods. Talking about Sports, Justine Henin-Hardenne is making an awesome comeback, just like compatriot Kim Klijsters did last year. Way to go!

Just a few minutes ago, I saw a very disturbing video of something that would haunt me at least for the next couple of days. A sub-inspector of Police bleeding and begging for help as the Ministers of Tamil Nadu keep watching, without even getting out of the comfort of their cars – possibly irritated that their journey is getting delayed. And whatever is the f’in problem with the media personnel who were more interested in shooting the entire episode to make ‘sensational headlines’ than in saving a uniformed officer at duty, forget that, a fellow human-being! The whole time I was watching it (it was only a 2 minute video clip, but it felt like it was forever), all I could think was about the family of the officer – his children, wife, mother… They all would have seen the video and saw their loved one begging for his life – how worse can it get? I feel sick in my stomach; imagine the plight of his family. If a video (most part of it blurred out because it was on a national news channel) had so much impact on me, the impact it made on the on-lookers over there must have been exponentially high. Despite that they failed to help him. Why are we so insensitive?

As usual I have poured my mind here.