Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Help me escape!

I finally find some free time after so many days of hectic work. Yes, I have work and yes, I am (have become) hard-working and yes, that is what kept me from writing more frequently. Trust me! On top of all these, whenever I am home, I am inundated with aunties asking me when I am going to get married – and by aunties, I mean every woman who is 30+ years of age, ranging from blood relatives to distant relatives to neighbors to I-just-met-you-in-the-bus-but-I-don’t-at-all-feel-it-is-inappropriate-to-ask-you-to-get-married-soon types. Seriously, WTF is their problem? Is it:

  1. “Yaam petra inbam, peruga ivvayyagam” (Let the world experience all the happiness I experience; this expression is used generally in sarcastic comments) or
  2. I am so bored with my daily mega-serials and I just want to mess up somebody’s life and who better than you or
  3. I cannot digest the fact that how you are so carefree and independent or
  4. I have a relative whose son is a loser and I just like making his life even more miserable (with a typical mega-serial villain-ish grin) or
  5. I just want to while away some time (eating your head) during this insanely boring bus ride.

What is it? And how long do they exactly expect me to reply with a oh-so-fake smile on my face, dismissing all the urges to reply with a killer one-liner, controlling my temper and refrain from shouting out to God to forgive the aunties and take them to heaven (immediately)! And what angers me even more is when my mom finds it alright to the extent of being natural. When are they ever going to understand that when and who I want to marry is my choice and the random-aunty-I-met-five-minutes-ago-in-the-bus does not have a say in it? Just leave me alone, aunties!

Next time onwards, my reply is going to be any one of the following:

  1. (With the most innocent look you have ever seen) Aunty, I am not sure who you are. (And run like crazy in the opposite direction)
  2. Amma said there is something terribly wrong with my horoscope and I would have to wait for five more years before thinking about marriage.
  3. I don’t want to consider marriage before at least one onsite trip (I am sure that ought to shut them up – Iyer aunties are so impressed by such ideas; on the down-side, I may never get married ;-) )
  4. I want to take up brahmacharyam (and give them an hour’s lecture on giving up material desires and karma and moksha until it is their turn to escape from me).

Any other ideas are welcome! :-)


  1. Gud dad recently asked me if I wanted to start a bachelor's club, dont even think of the women folk..

    One of the answer which will definitely make them run away from you is "Ongaathu mama divorce pannitu varenu sonnadhu naaladhan wait pannindu irukken"...;-)

  2. @celebrate ur FREEdom
    Awesome one! That would scare the shit out of the maamis for sure! :-)

  3. Good one:-) You should use Robin's though-"I used to be a dude";-)

  4. How abt this??

    "Maami kaetutelaa??? jagradhaya veetukku pongo. Pona vaaram vichu maama ippadi kaetutu ponaar.. thalaila idi vizundurthu. Adhuku munnadi visalachi paati kaetta avalayum maadu mutti hospital la irukka...."
    Tat person wud never dare 2 ask that God forsaken qtn ever again...but if they turn out to be a daredevil n still option1 statement in braces.

  5. @gayathri
    I was thinking "I like girls more than guys" to be too 'not me' and you are suggesting this? Let me see, after 2-3yrs after my marriage, amma unakku maaplai paakum bodhu nee idha solriyanu!

    Awesome idea, dude!!! :-) Have you used it to any maami/mama?

    Whose side are you on?

  6. Edhayum plan pannama ippadi avasarapattu mudivu edukapdaadhu!!!

  7. Hey Sandy,

    Haha marriage talks again.. :P
    What do I say?? lol.. ;)

  8. @Chan
    Nalla plan panreengayya... :-O

    Marriage talks have never ceased since the day my friend got married :-( And every month, some or the other is giving such news to my mom.

  9. "sigh! that's a long story.. I'm already writing a book on that. will let you know when it gets published.. You will buy my book, no? Tell me, you will.. you will, no?" has been working perfectly fine for me since the past 10 years.. might as well run that for another decade! :D

  10. @Usha
    Wow... Great idea. I'm sure this one would work :-)

  11. :) i never thought i wud get so many ideas in one shot :)

    blog really helps, dsnt it?? :P

    god save ur mom and all those aunties :D

  12. @sawan
    What are friends for??? To give you such ideas, obviously... :-)
    Enjoy your bachelorhood for a longer time!!! :-)

  13. lol, now that looks like an ADVICE :P

  14. I just found Your blog :) It is absolutely fun. Here, in Northern Europe we cannot really imagine Your everyday life. Like Your thoughts! :))
    With best,

  15. @sawan
    Kabhi kabhi, I give out advice for free. U just got lucky!

    @C U When I C U
    Thank you for visiting!!! Glad that I am able to portray our way of life to the West. :-)
    Keep visiting! And pls do share ur thoughts as often as possible - it would be fun to know your perceptions.

  16. hahaha great post man! just laughed to my heart's content! first time visiting ur blog! great thoughts! keep going! and abt the idea u want abt escaping from marriage talks.

    "sorry aunty, bus pass renew pannanum!" ESCAPE!!!

  17. @Thamizh
    Aaha... "Bus pass renew pannanum" is a great idea. Idhu enakku en thonaama pochu??? Hmmm...
    Thank you for visiting!!!


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