It is not until you are at work, with nothing much to do (apart from staring at the monitor for endless hours and tweeting and reading 5 newspapers everyday) that you tend to remember that it has been quite some time since you last updated your blog. So here I am, in the morning shift, half-asleep (which accounts for all the junk I write, I write only junk, but whatever) and hungry and frustrated (about not having anything to do).
My last post about how my friends were all going to moving away and the need to find another apartment has started becoming reality. One of them has traveled to California for a 3 month assignment (which may get extended) there. Before we know, a couple others would be married and my life isn’t moving an inch forward (in either direction)… People who follow me on twitter/on my gtalk list/on orkut/on facebook must have noticed the weird status messages hinting upon some serious, irrevocable depression.
It was mainly due to the feeling that my life is standing still and I have nothing that is a wee bit challenging or exciting about it. I wake up, get ready, come to work, and sit through the day (without much to do) go back home, eat, and sleep. Seriously, how long can you go on like this? There is a whole lot of time I spend thinking what I should do next – as in which newspaper to read first, when to go for a tea break, what to tweet – I mean, if you don’t have anything to share what do you blog/tweet about?
I should say I am feeling much better now. Last week, I was so de-motivated by the whole I-have-nothing-worthwhile-to-do feeling that I didn’t even cut my nails. I know it sounds like a really bad excuse to be dirty and disgusting, but you have to be there to know how it feels. A couple of days of "intense" shopping with my friend (who went on-site) and a whole lot of assuring and supportive words from friends kept me going. And by weekend, a new set of clothes and a pair of shoes that I shopped for got be back on track.
Shopping works even when words, hugs and kindness fail!!!
Everyone got to get past this phase in life. Don't worry you will be alright shopping will really help until you find some thing interesting.
ReplyDeleteHi Sandhya
ReplyDeleteJust an Idea,
Why don't you follow the suit and get married like your friend.
By the way,Its great following your posts.
@Ravishankar
ReplyDeleteWhat is more interesting than shopping??? :P
@Ramandeep
Hmmmm, I can't keep aping my friends. Now they are getting married coz they want to (or their parents want them to), which is not the case with me. It would be a stupid idea to get into something as big as a marriage just because my friends are doing it.
Thanks for your support!
u are ur best judge?
ReplyDeletewhat u like today u may not like it tomorrow..
Honestly just follow what u like for now and don't think too much abt life and be serious..
@Ravishankar
ReplyDelete:-) Totally agree!
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ReplyDeleteFinally some one agreeing to me :)
ReplyDeleteBy sitting and watching the monitor u are learning to meditate and concentrate ..lol
For this I pay 90$ every month but u get paid for this
@Ravishankar
ReplyDeleteLet me know if there is an opportunity for me to make $90 every month. Sitting and staring at the monitor is a task I have perfected over the years! ;-)
Ha Ha ...ur comp could be billing the client atleast 20 to 30$ for every hour u stare :) And 90$ I pay is for meditation not staring
ReplyDelete@Ravishankar
ReplyDeleteMeditation, staring - what's the difference??? :-D I meditate rather well...
Life goes on., so does newspaper, esp when you have 5 of them to read.., although the content would be same, the expression & impression would be different.
ReplyDeleteWhen dealing with 5 different characters (newspapers) and having enough time to forsee future, i dont believe that you are stuck at one point.
Oops!!.. probably what i wrote above is called "Optimism"
ReplyDelete@Dhinu
ReplyDeleteOptimism, yes! But you make me sound so looney!
Sandy,
ReplyDeleteNice blog. Very frank.
But everybody goes through these.I think you are feeling lonely and have been dependent on somebody like friends or family. Are you homesick as well as fed up with Chennai? I have been through this. Of course, not with Chennai. So started thinking in those lines.
But you will get good room mates, water, power to run all electrical appliances and enough food and sleep at all times. Sounds like genie? Just my wish for a true blogger.
I don't know if you will be able to live in Chennai for long as you seem to have longing for Coimbatore.
I hope I am not offending you but it reflects my situation a few months back.
Happy blogging.
@Handsome
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting!
The house that you have described sounds great and it'd even better if it was affordable. But hey, I am not Alladin. :-(
I love Chennai and I love Coimbatore. I am longing for a nice life, that's all. That's probably what everyone is longing for, but me more than others!
Great to know someone has understood me so much just from by blog. Am flying up high in the sky!
Hope everything turns out good...
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ReplyDeleteHi Sandy...
ReplyDeleteYou have a very good skill of writing your feelings directly from the heart.Wish i was as expressive :-)
I have a very simple suggestion for you.
Just keep moving on and don't let your life stagnate at any point.Keeping doing what you love doing.
Thats it.
Hope i am short simple and specific this time...
Have fun :-)
Last week, I was so de-motivated by the whole I-have-nothing-worthwhile-to-do feeling that I didn’t even cut my nails.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the weirdest things I ve heard in a while... Anyways lemme get to the point... don think too much yaar... Be what u r... Do what U do... :)
5 newspapers... U must know everything there is... OMG!!! and U tell that ur life isn't moving... Get on with it.. U r fine!!!
ReplyDelete@Shankar
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is what I have been doing as well. Moving on and doing what I like to do. :-)
@Sriram
It really happened to me. :-(
5 newspapers doesn't mean I know everything :-)
Then why do u read those newspapers... :P
ReplyDeleteWell I haven't cut my nails too... So don feel for that also!!!
@Sriram
ReplyDeleteI just read sports stories, weird news, n stuff. U really are disgusting (in connection to ur nails)...
Well only two weeks before I clipped em so no problem... :P
ReplyDeleteBtw I expected some twist like that in the newspaper thing!!!
Hey Sandy,
ReplyDeleteThanks. I thought you may be angry that I wrote too much.
I knew that was costly for a single person.
Btw your blog is really open. I wish you start writing about the happenings around you that affects you positively and negatively as that can help in a discussion in this blog. Personal stuff may not take ur blog far.
I wish you get out of this swirl that you feel you are in. Life goes on and sometimes stops. Maybe nature wants us to understand that we cannot get on with whatever we want however important it might be at all times. You are stressed and that is the reason you have such a low confidence level if I am right. Speed breakers are there in life too.
Start listening to songs and read books you like. Get in touch with your family daily. Take a break and go for a holiday if it is possible.
I am just giving ideas that I know.
Anyway nice to find a person who blogs without inhibitions.
@Sriram
ReplyDelete:-) No twist there!
@Handsome
There have been so many times when I have written about some incident that I witnessed, but have had the nerve to publish it. I feel I am on the safe side whilst writing about myself. I shall write about others when I feel it is ok to do so :-)
Hmmm, listening to songs - check
Read books (P G Wodehouse) - check
Get in touch with family - I talk to mom 10 times a day - check
Going on a holiday - for 1 week - check.
There isn't much more that I could do :-D
Agree with you on the shopping bit. Can identify as well since I do that to while away the blues or the PMS days.. :)
ReplyDelete@Pallavi
ReplyDeleteGlad to know that I don't sound looney... ;-)
Hey Sandy,
ReplyDeleteShopping really works is it? :)
But i guess you should find other means as well since too much of shopping can make you go bankrupt. lol. :)
It was nice meeting you the other day. :)
Keep Blogging!
You have been tagged!
ReplyDeleteCheck out my latest post: "More tags... One down, 2 more to go!" for further info...
How i wish i have a job like yours ( staring at monitors and reading five newspapers)! Jokes apart, it was very rewarding to read your blog. Apart from your usual excellent English, you reminded me to cut my nails! Thanks Sandy.
ReplyDeletethis feel of joblessness or unhappiness is a curse of our generation. Actually i was talking about this to a friend of mine couuple of days back.. and accidentally this post! mm.. we need new ways to renovate our souls!
ReplyDeleteand i don agree shoppin is a a good idea!:)
Hmmm... Shopping is cathartic, as they say. Shop till you drop... and the "recession" will be thing of the past! :)
ReplyDeleteSee! you already helped in generating some "welcome" economic activity...
Oh Noooooooo ... this should have been a post in my blog, do you have any patents for the text you have typed here ?? I wud just want to do a simple copy and paste and everything else applies :)
ReplyDelete@Venkatesh
ReplyDeleteYou r the 2nd person to say I reminded u to cut ur nails ;) I am glad I am of help to my readers.
@Sachi
Shopping probably works very well for girls. ;)
@Satish
Wow, glad to know I am not that weird after all :)