Life still goes on.......

Today is a great day - it is christmas eve and it has already gotten me contemplating my new year's resolution, talking of which I can't help but think about the episode in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. where each one takes up a resolution and find that resolutions are not for them...

Another good thing about today is that I'm going home for a long weekend. I'll get to spend 4 days there. I have already called up my mom and told her what I want for breakfast tomorrow. I get to go home once in a month and because of that I get to be treated like royalty whenever I go there. My mom makes all my favourite dishes, my sister and I hang out (it is like a rare thing to happen because she generally likes to hang out only with her friends) and the best part is my grandma never scolds me... That's like the best thing.

Let me paint a picture of my grandma here... My grandma is almost 87 years old now and she is still the most energetic person I have ever met. She can't be lazy at all. Being lazy is something she has never understood. Even when she is down with fever, she wakes up not later than 6:30 in the morning in the cold COimbatore climate and goes out for what we call "rounds" - during these "rounds" she plucks flowers from all the trees in the neighbourhood and gives them to the Pillayar temple near our home. Then she comes back and starts washing the dishes and the clothes, though my mom keeps shouting at her, asking her not to stand in water and aggrevate her fever. She is sooooooooooooo active and I have gotten thrashed by my mom because of this. She says, "Look at paatti, even at this age, she is so active and brisk. You shameless, sleeping till 10am. Learn from her!!!" That was enough reason for me to hate her.

Ever since my mom and dad were married, till today, my grandma has lived with us. She likes my sister so much and she hates me the most. Whenever me and my sister have a fight (we still fight over small and silly stuff), my grandma invariably would support her, without even knowing what the fight is about or who is right and who is wrong. She just adored my sister (the nasty pain in the neck)... And that gave me an even better reason to hate her.

But being so far away from her now, I have come to realize that I love her and I miss fighting and arguing with her over silly reasons. Ans she is now pouring all her love towards me. She picks up the phone and asks, "Sandhya, saaptaya? Nanna saapdu. Nanna velai paaru, nalla per vaanganam." I mean, she has never ever wished so much for me... Ever...



But now I miss my mom, my sister and my paatti so much. I wish I could go back to living with them and fight over trivial things. I miss that life where I didn't have to handle any money over 500 bucks at a time. I wish I could still be the wild child of the family and the most talkative yet 'padakoo' girl in the class and the short, thin girl with the big voice. I feel like I have migrated too far from being all those things now. But life goes on, doesn't it?

It just doesn't get outta my mind...

I know how much harder it should be for the people of Bombay... Let me tell you why.
Everyday, on my way back from work, I get down at the bus stop that is like 1km from my home (and not the nearest bus stop which is less than 0.5km) - the main idea behind it being walking and yeah, I call up my mom and talk to her till I reach home. Last Friday, I couldn't talk to my mom while walking because she was walking at our native place too and she couldn't talk while walking - old age, you see... (Sorry, amma)

So that evening, as I was walking, all I could think of was "What would I do if the terrorists came here and started firing indiscriminately? Where would I go and hide?" And that night, I dreamt about the guy 'Kasab' firing at my grandma and my sister at my native place... I can surely imagine how traumatised the people of Bombay would be.



That 'Kasab' guy was born in 1987 - he is younger than me and most of you reading this. He has such a baby-like face. One can not link his face with such a gross attack. Appearances are sooooooooooooo deceptive! It hurts to see a youngster who has been brain-washed so much and made to take up such an "assignment" where he has to kill people before losing his own life.

And why are they doing it in the name of Islam? I am sure Islam doesn't preach anything but love and brotherhood. These terrorists - whatever religion they belong to, whatever country they belong to, whatever language they speak, they have absolutely no rights to take away the lives of so many innocent civilians!!!

I hadn't written anything about the Bombay attacks for like 10 days since it happened, I thought I'd not write about it because as it is, so much is being written about it. But I couldn't stand it when my mind started imagining things and I started having nightmares, I had to pour it out!!!

I'm such a loser!!!

Last week I lost my chain... The chain my mom got for me when I started going to high school. Although initially I didn't like it hanging around my neck (specially when I was wearing my school uniform, as chains just didn't go with it), slowly I started developing a kind of liking for it. It had a little pendant that had alela krishna's (baby krishna on a leaf) in it... That Krishna was so close to me that I always wore the pendant in such a way that people only get to see the back side of the pendant. I used tosay, "Krishna should see only me. That's why I'm wearing it like this."

And I lost it... I had kept it in a box on my shelf and it was not there when I checked the box next... I am feeling soooooooooo bad now!!!

And this morning, I couldn't find my watch. It was a Fastrack watch which had the dial on a zip... It was a birthday gift from Sabal last year. And I guess I lost that too. Where are all my stuff going? I mean, why am I so careless??? Why am I such a "loser"???

Ramblings of a little girl...

Imagine I force you to eat some delicacy that I prepared. I know it is quite possibly the most terrible of stuff you'd ever have had in your life and wish you are never tortured this way by God again; but being the ncie, polite person you are, you try eating it (I'd say attempting to eat is an achievement in itself) so that I don't feel down and low. You are controlling your vomiting sensation and eating it because I said I'd treat you later at your favourite restaurant in the city. By the time you finish eating it, I fill your plate again with more of the same unpalatable stuff. But still, you think of the mouth-watering dishes you'd get to taste during the treat later in the day and go on with my absolutely tasteless food.

After an hour or so, you finish having it and say, "I'm done with it. It was great."

I look at you up and down, look at the plate and say, "You left the tiiiiiiiiiiny bit here in the corner. So I'm not gonna treat you."

How would you feel? That is EXACTLY how I feel right now. I slogged at work in this project for 6 months, completed whatever task was assigned to me within the stipulated time, had no complaints on me from the client's side and still, I got a meagre "Meets Expectations" as my appraisal rating and the reason for this as told to me was, "The client feels there has not been much contribution from the offshore team. You clearly have not taken any new initiative... (Me: Duh, I have worked and that is a new initiative in itself ) You should have been more proactive, interested in learning new technology..." GIMME A BREAK...

First of all, I am stuck in a job that I don't like. Well, that is not my PM's problem, but that is a major factor, don't you think? I feel like quitting my job and finding a job that pays me to talk - a call center executive, an HR personnel, an RJ, TV reporter, or to write - well, newspaper columnist, writer, whatever... Anything but IT... But the only problem is, I won't get paid as much in any other field (at least not at the start)...

Dear God, please let me find a project that is interesting or a new job that I like that pays me well... Am I asking for too much?

Problems....

Last week, I got viral fever. I still don't understand where I got it from.... Oh... yeah, my room mate had it and I was unlucky (not exactly unlucky, the word is weak :-)) to contact it from her. And suffer, I did...

My mother, fortunately, was in the city and once the doctor told me it was a viral fever and it will persist for another 2-3 days, I went to Coimbatore along with my mother. I had everything from temperature soaring to a 104.6 degrees to joint pain to rashes on the face that scared the shit out of me to vomiting... Phew... It aches to just type so much! On the brighter side of it (yes, it did have one) I got so much attention from my mom. She took leave for 3 days from her office and sat beside all day and fed me food and made me eat all the tablets and gave me fruit juices and what not (to make me "ready" to be back at work next monday)...

All this happened at the time when "students" (I'm not sure if I can call them that anymore) were brutally almost killing each other, media personnel trying to capture every cruel blow on tape (no, they worry neither about the students who were being beaten right in front of their cameras, nor about the mental condition of the viewers - after all, they were bringing in hot news for their respective channels, what was more important than that???) and above all there were a few people clad in khakhi clothes (yeah, similar to the ones who catch us to check our driving licenses during peak hours) near white cars (the ones with "Police" written in the front) watching the entire thing like it were a circus show... Where is our country heading?

All this was going on when I got a call from one of my colleagues who asked me if I could book a couple of tickets for "Vaaranam Aayiram" at Sathyam for him and his girlfriend.

I really didn't know what to say...

Deshdrohiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

I was sooooooooooo bored this morning and that is when Yals pinged me. This is the chat transcript of the chat we had this morning... No wonder time just flies by when there are friends like this one... Love ya loads buddy...

Yals: morning sandy
Yals:"Only blackness knows how to cherish light"
Sandhya: mroning di
Yals: i love u sandy :P
Sandhya: huh???
Yals: lolz
seriously i love u
platonic love :D
Sandhya: y?
u der?
Sent at 10:09 AM on Tuesday
Yals: yeah
how can i say a reason for loving?
Sandhya: ohhh appidi varaya???
sheri sheri
Yals: lolz
Sent at 10:09 AM on Tuesday
Yals: de wat's with this desh drohi hero guy
how did he get a chance?
i mean he is looking so pathetic
Sandhya: hmmm.... egmore railway station-la beeda vithuttu irundhaan
:D
Yals: lol
seriously
Sandhya: awesome na?
super stunts
Yals: is he having any connections with dawood?
Sandhya: i really wanna watch the movie
dunno
Yals: u got to be kidding me
Sandhya: i'm skipping vaaranam aayiram and watching deshdrohi
Yals: lol
Sandhya: hez my dream boy
Yals: good for u :P
Sandhya: my prince charming
;-)
Yals: may be if u kiss him he'll turn beautiful
;-)
Sandhya: hahaha
seriously, how the hell did he get cast?
Yals: he must be having some connections
Sandhya: sure
Yals: i really doubt it must with the underground dons
Sandhya: i think he's some producer's son
Yals: no re
no decent producer will do this to his son
Sandhya: hmmm
true
Yals: or he might have the tape of some famous personality in some inappropriate position ;-)
and he wud have blackmailed him to cast him
:D
Sandhya: possible
Yals: geez am creative
Sandhya: jeez... u shud write a story
Sent at 11:07 AM on Tuesday
Yals: yeah probably
Sandhya: start ur blog na?
Yals: but who'll read it ;-)
Sandhya: i'll reasd
read*
Yals: :) wokay
un thalaiyeluthu athuna mathava mudiyum :D
Sandhya: please write na...
i'd love to read it

I guess it is there for all of you to see how jobless we are to be chatting topics of international importance on a tuesday morning from work...

Rising in love - Introduction

For a long time now, I have been wanting to write this story - the story of Shruti*. Now, Shruti is a dear friend and whatever I write about her here are true life experiences and since I have had access to her diaries and her text messages and her emails, all conversations in the story are real and authentic.

It is a pretty long story - an experience of a lifetime within a span of 6 months - a plethora of feelings compressed into mere words. Since it is going to take up so much time and spac, I intend to write it in parts - episodes, I would like to say, but I am not sure if they would be of equal length.

I don't know how much justice I can do to the story. I don't know if my language is good enough to put all her feelings into words. I am sure if someone else writes this, it could be better. But I was the one who understood her and I guess that is why I am writing this instead of conveying the story to someone else and getting it written by them. I guess I have understood her emotions like no one else and hence pray to God that I should be able to do justice to it.

I have tentatively titled the story as "Rising in love..." (as opposed to falling in love, because no one call ever "fall" in love. They can only rise, and rise as a better person!)

*Name changed on request

Special people have special 'rules'

Why is it that people become so possessive about the ones they love? I mean, it is alright to want your guy/girl to treat you in a special way... But asking them to cut off from their respective friends??? Sorry, I find it absolutely disgusting!!!

I have seen/heard of boyfriends asking their girlfriends, "I tried calling you, but I guess you were talking to someone else. My call was kept waiting. Who were you talking to?"

"Huh... I was talking to mom."

"Mom? Are you sure?"

What the heck!!! Possessiveness is bad enough and when it paves the way for doubting one's partner, it becomes worse!

And I have heard girlfriends asking their boyfriends not to send (even forward) mails to other girls. She says, "Hey, I got your forward mail. You have sent it to R, I, L and M. And I am just one of the many recipients of the mail."

"It wasn't a personal mail that only you should read. It was just a forward, yaar. Forwards are supposed to be sent to a bunch of people."

"Ohhhh... So I have become just another person in a big bunch of people you know, is it?"

Gimme a break!!!

Love is something that grows out of mutual respect and admiration. Trust is the foundation of love and where there is trust, there can't be any doubting and therefore, there shouldn't be any possessiveness! Last time I experienced possessiveness as such was when I was in 5th std and my best friend An told me she will not talk to me until I stop talking to Pr. Now, Pr and I weren't the best of friends, but she seemed to understand what I was saying better than An. I thought An was way too childish (at 10 we were matured adults, who thought possessiveness is childish) And here we have a million guys and girls (who are supposed to be smart IT professionals) who do the same thing in the name of love.

To all these people who want to be possessive and the ones who are suffering from being 'possessed', I have just one thing to say... "GROW UP!!"

Gayathri, the observer!!!

Wow... It is Monday. Well, I guess I belong to the 0.0001% of the world's population who says, "Wow, it's Monday". For people who don't understand why I am such a moron, read this.

So life at office and otherwise totally rocks. To add to the excitement is the news that my sister is visiting me for 4 days (from Friday to Tuesday) and hence I have a looooooooooooot to plan for the weekend. For the folk who don't know my sister, time to introduce Gaya.

She is a sweet(?) little (she was, once upon a time. Now she's bigger than me) pest (I'm not exaggerating)... She and I have a lot of things in common - we share ideas, sometimes we sing the same lines from the same song at different corners of the house and when we meet we find that we are singing the same song (tell me about telepathy), given a situation we tend to react in exactly the same way, using exactly the same words (twin souls, you might say), we like the same kind of books, we have similar interests in music and sports - and yet we are poles apart in character.

Sandhya is the talkative, dynamic, chirpy, funny but foolish (yes, I accept) girl, while Gayathri is the quiet one at home - the observer. I make a million friends in a matter of hours and it takes very few incidents for me to break up a relationship and come out of it, while Gayathri is exactly the opposite. She takes time to mingle - she observes a lot, she talks very little and listens very patiently and decides who she should be friends with - and even after making the decision, she wouldn't be all that keen on revealing much about herself to most of her friends.

When I am a part of the gang, I tend to be right at the centre, making fun of others and being made fun of and being loud and dancing and all that - in short, I am a party person! While Gayathri, as much as she enjoys herself when she is out in a bunch (she doesn't talk much, she just listens and laughs at the jokes the others crack), she has a small circle of friends who she is very close with (trust me, she is close with people who were her friends since age 3 - LKG friends)... I think it is a gift. I can't remember a lot of people who studied with me from that age!!!

I am kind of selfish and think only from my point of view, where as she tends to put herself in the other person's shoes and probably that how she scores so many friends who trust her completely....

Well, I am not jealous of her or anything, this is just the way I am and yeah, I am very happy with myself (who isn't) ;-)

Not a happy weekend...

It is 5:45pm on Friday, and yet I'm not my usual excited self. Normally weekend brings with it an excitement, a hope, a party mood and all, but today it is gloomy.

My room mate and friend of over 7 years (since 11th Std.) Brindha is going back to our native (Coimbatore) as she has got transferred to CTS, Coimbatore. I would say she is a lucky ass, but yeah, we would miss her at home and here is why...

1. She is very responsible (she takes care of everything from "soap powder got over" to "servant akka is unbearable" to "turn off the gas/switch before crashing on the bed.")

2. She is funny (ohhh she's gotta be the one girl who used to understand all my jokes... until my other roomies started cracking ones I didn't understand :-( Some role reversal there...)

3. She's our head chef (she's a great cook. she makes all really mouth-watering stuff at home and we enjoy eating it. come weekends and she'll search for a new recipe in google and make tht for us. how adorable!!!)

4. She is straight-forward (she tells u on face if u r doing something wrong. I have gotten hit by her twice - guys, never ever get in the wrong books of Brindha!!!)

5. She is going now!!! :-(

Anyways, hope she has a good time at home with her parents and enjoys the great climate and water. We'll miss u Brindha...

Now, thts why I'm all sad and stuff.... :-(

The feminist in me...

Alright, this post comes from me when I am very very mad at somebody I know, say Mr. X.

We, a group of 4, were talking about how the market is down and the IT sector is chucking out so many people and what we should do. Casually, I said, "I prefer going back to a college and becoming a lecturer. Though the salary would be less, I will have satisfaction because I love teaching." Fair enough???

And then Mr. X opens his mouth and says, "There is no problem for you girls... Even if you go home and sit without working, no one is going to ask you anything. But for guys like us, work is madatory."

"So is it for us. My mother wouldn't welcome me if I go home and sit and ask her to feed me. I have my commitments and I need to be in the job as much as you want to."

"Ha ha... You can anyday get married and your husband will take care of you."

"Well, even these days guys are looking for working girls."

"No, even if you say you are not working, he'll work for you and you can sit at home, cook, clean, wash and watch mega-serials and keep crying..."

I didn't want to shout there as I didn't want to attract public attention. I actually felt like... Well... (Sigh)...

What do you guys feel about the comments made by Mr. X? Are girls only for cooking, cleaning, washing and watching mega-serials? Would you or would you not encourage your mother/sister/wife to be good at her career? Or are you a follower of Hitler like our Mr.x?

One evening @ CitiCenter

Well, I was bored out of my wits during the weekend - I had watched all the good movies and had no1 to go out with as my friends all had programmes with their boyfriends/colleagues/other friends. But fortunately, on saturday morning, I flicked the book Brida by Paulo Coelho and what a great book it was. By the time I finished reading it, all i could think of was "Finding my soul mate". Ever since, I have been trying to look for the spot of light above the left shoulder of pretty much every (handsome) guy I have seen (not that I saw a lot of handsome guys!!!)

Sunday was a different day altogether... I woke up at 8 (pretty early for a sunday morning) and made lunch and then Sabal calls me and says, "Be ready, I'll come there by 3, we have to go near Gemini Flyover. I have to take you to meet someone there."

"But, tell me who it is. I have to dress accordingly."

"Wear your normal office type clothes. That would be fine." (I was pretty sure he was taking me to the doctor he had always told about - for my sinus trouble.) I was so angry with him for fixing up an appointment with a doctor, without even asking me...

At 2:30pm, I got another call from him, "Are you ready? Main aa raha hoon" I was ready and we ventured out of the house. I had just stopped raining and Chennai roads were at their cleanest (Well, I managed to find a little of the road amidst all the pot-holes...)

Then I asked him, "Were are you taking me?" He didn't say anything, just took out two pieces of paper from his pocket and gave me. They were two tickets for the play "Chocolate Krishna" by Crazy Mohan. I have been wanting to watch the play ever since June/July, but I didn't get a chance to. And there I was, sitting in an MTC bus, looking down at other people, who were travelling by small cars and two-wheelers. I felt like a queen because I was sitting at a higher place and because I was sooooooooo happy to have a person who knew what I liked and got it for me... Thanks, man!!!

The play was hilarious. I had a blast. Sabal said it was "Okay"... Anyways, then we thought we'd go to CitiCenter mall and while away some time. Sabal hated the idea of going to a mall and roaming around, given the fact that both of us were too broke to shop for anything from there. But I insisted and as usual he gave in and we were at the mall...

When we entered the mall, all I could think was "Please ask the guy to stop singing." There was a guy who was murdering old hindi melodies... So we were roaming inside the mall, we went inside Lifestyle showroom for window-shopping, just because the "noise" of the singing outside was so unbearable. When we came out a good half-an-hour later, there was a handsome guy (He was a hunk... Later came to know that his name was Abbas and that he was from Bangalore) who was conducting a show and he was calling people to dance and was encouraging the audience to clap, whistle, scream and what not!!!

There we were, on the 2nd floor of the mall, looking down at the centre stage where a few kids were dancing so beautifully to "Dard-e-disco" and "Mauja hi maujha"... I was so excited by the music that I convinced Sabal to come downstairs with me to watch the kids dancing. I got a gift coupon (25% off on any dress that I buy from "Right Choice" which was there at the same mall) for screaming out the loudest.

Then Sabal and 4 other guys he managed to befreind out there pushed me on to the stage (not to mention that the handsome guy also asked me to come on stage) and there I was a tiny, vulnerable, little girl on a red stage with around 5,000 people watching and clapping and screaming and whistling and expected me to dance...

They started playing "Soni nakh re" and I just did what I thought was dance and yeah, people were clapping and dancing along (that is one grrrrrreat thing about the Chennai crowd) and the icing on the cake was when the handsome guy himself danced with me... It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G to say the least. And I could see Sabal from the stage, he was taking a video of me dancing in his mobile and he was encouraging others to scream for me... It was the best feeling, I could see how happy he was, how proud he was of me and my awkward movements that he terms "dance" (Kiya, if you are reading this, there are 5,000 people in Chennai, who clapped for me. I am not a bad dancer anymore!!!)

I was sooooooooooo happy because from childhood I have been made fun of for being as graceful as T R Rajendhar and I have never danced on stage in school or college because I thought, "When so many people are telling me this, I AM probably a bad dancer"... Thank you, Sabal for proving to me that I am not and thank you, also for your support and for pushing me up on that stage!!!

Dear diary...

Now, I am making this blog my diary...

I am feeling very dull and depressed and totally not in the mood to work (as usual..) today... There is no exact reason why I am not my usual funny self and I have no clue as to why everything is so colorless today.

The day actually started off well (I woke up late, had a good sleep, no bad dreams), had a nice, long bath (yes, I did), had an okay breakfast and came to office without any hitch anywhere. But after coming here, I feel something is not right, I feel something is different, don't know what is wrong or if it is just my feeling.

I just chatted with Yals (my bessssssssst friend) and she asked if I was okay, I have no clue how she sensed that... She asked if I had any misunderstanding with anyone(I never have any misunderstandings with anyone, only others have problems with me), I don't know... I feel like i have lost control over my life today. I feel I am following something that I had vowed I'd never follow... Let life take you where it wants to. I mean, if you let life take you wherever, then what are you for??? Anyways, keeping all my stupidities to myself, I feel the day is gloomy and I feel lonely. Maybe that is the reason...

I hate loneliness. I always prefer staying with a group of friends around me, laughing and cracking jokes, pulling each others' legs and all that (I miss Dinesh now...) I just hate this part where I have to sit in front of my computer and just stare at it, without having anyone to chat with (just for company)... I feel I am not Sandhya today!!!

Busy bee!!!

I am writing this post after a rather long gap... The reason for inactivity being "my hectic schedule" at office [Note to the readers: STOP LAUGHING]. Jokes apart, I have been inactive because the past 2-3 weeks have been quite uneventful to say the least. To prove this, let me give you my daily routine.

7:30am - Wake up like Ishaan Awasthi (in TZP) with a broad smile before falling back on the bed and twisting and curling and thinking (seriously) about going back to sleep again when my room mate comes and whacks my ass asking me to get up...
7:45am - Finish brushing (To make things clear, contrary to the popular opinion that I don't brush, I don't even open my mouth before brushing and I use sign language and a series of mmmmmmmms to communicate with my room mates until I am done with brushing)
7:50am - Do basic exercises (skipping, aerobics... Just to help blood circulation and stay healthy. Otherwise, there is no other reason for me to exercise. People who know me would vouch for that. For people who don't know me, I am 5'2" and weigh like 40kgs and am badly in need of another 6kgs to look healthy.)
8:10am - Go through the newspaper and read as much as possible until the bathroom becomes free.
8:25am - Take bath (Yes, I do that too)
8:40am - Get ready (hmmmm... this includes tying up my hair, which takes up quite some time, thanks to my new haircut that was sister's stupid idea)
8:50am - Walk towards auto-stand, plug earphones and listen to radio.
9:15am - Reach office (late again!!!)
9:30am - Finish checking mails (forwards, of course) and go for breakfast.
10:00am - Back at my seat thinking what to do. (This part of my life is called "Confusion")
10:05am - Read from NDTV.com
10:15am - My dear friend Yals pings saying "Hi" and we chat for around an hour.
11:00am - Coffee-break
11:30am - Back to my seat thinking what to do
11:45am - Some of my friends here inside my ODC come over to my desk for a chat. So, chatting and pulling each other's legs eats up God-knows-how-many minutes and by the time we are done with laughing and stuff, friends from other ODCs call/sms/ping asking us to get our asses out so that we could go to the food court for lunch.
1:00pm - Lunch-break
2:00pm - As my desk tempts me for a post-lunch nap, I try fighting hard agianst it. Finally, I get up and go to the carrom-board table and play for a while until sleep gets disappointed and goes away.
3:00pm - Back to my seat thinking what to do
3:15am - Check for new emails. There are so many of my friends who have a similar work schedule and hence I receive a lot of forwards. So this takes up quite some time.
4:00pm - Coffee-break.
4:30pm - Back to my seat thinking what to do
4:45pm - Idea!!! Think about what to write in the Daily Status Report (DSR)... The client wants to know, "Endha aaniya pudunginom?"
5:00pm - No idea as to what to write in DSR. So turn towards my team mate Vinod and ask him about the same.
5:05pm - Vinod is seriously thinking as to what to write. [Naanga dhaan aaniya pudungave illaye!!!]
5:30pm - Finally, we have something to write (I seriously don't know how or what the tasks in the DSR mean, though I am the one who sends it everyday!!! And finally, our disgusted onsite co-ordinator ends up saying "Neenga pudunginadhu poorave thevayilladha aani dhaan, poyi pudungunga po")
5:45pm - Carrom-board table
8:00pm - Leave for home
8:45pm - Reach home
9:00pm - Change clothes, wash my tiffin-box and get back to the remainder of the newspaper and read the supplementary.
9:30pm - Dinner
10:00pm - Plug earphones and listen to radio.
10:15pm - Chatting with room mates starts slowly and continues until 11.
11:00pm - Good night, Sandhya...

You tell me now, where do I have the time to write a post??? Poor Sandy....

Me or God????

I have raised the same question in one of my previous posts too. It is a question that has made me think a lot. It is something that has been eating my head for a long time now. It is this:

"Is the feeling of vengence wrong? Is it wrong to try taking revenge?"

To most of you, it would be a very stupid question. It would come out of the blue - specially from a pacifist like me (trust me, I am one) Anyways, from what I have seen so far - what we sow is what we reap, there is no other way around it.

Someone did something bad to you - they betrayed you, back-stabbed about you, hurt you, anything... Is it right to do something bad to them in return when you get a chance to prove your superiority? Or is it better to just forgive and forget and let God do the rest?

I want your comments on this.

The techie that I am...

On a tiring day at office (playing carrom board, walking around the office, talking to my (huge group of) friends, total-damaging my friends and getting totally damaged), I was reading the soft copy of The Bourne Identity" . I turn around to see my team mate talking to our IT Management Services group personnel. I move towards my team mates seat and listen to what they are discussing seriously. I notice that my team mate's hands are busy clicking the mouse and writing and rewriting some code that was very new to me (I can hear you saying, "Like you know the other codes of your project"). But hey, back to work (Yes, work!) I hear them talking about VB Script, I see a few batch programs and they crack some joke about Microsoft's products (Hell, who doesn't? except me, who don't even understand such techno jokes, leave alone cracking one!)

And then IT DAWNS ON ME - they are talking like computer engineers - professionals - working in the IT indusry. And me... Was reading something (not working), that was not a computer magazine (no!) or an e-mail (which is not a funny forward); but a novel... My team mate turns towards me and says, "Hey Sandhya, you are done with reading your novel?". I, the dumb-ass that I am, say, "No, just taking a break!!!" for which he replies, "Oh!!!"

I am sure he must have thought, "This girl doesn't wanna learn anything, she's not interested in her job." I can only thank God for making him my team mate and not my PM (else my already pathetic appraisal grading would have been worse). This makes me think if I actually fit in here in the IT industry. It is not that I am not bright/smart enough (trust me guys... For those who already know the real me, please shut up and don't totally-damage me with your comments); it is just that I don't wanna sit and romance my computer and unix and java and perl and all similar things (seriously, I have a problem identifying what is what when it comes to programs and software). I'd rather read a novel (there are so many books to read - books that do not have techie terms (I'd like to name a few of these techie terms, but I don't know any, hee hee) and books that do not have pictures of new computers/laptops that are really cute - although I can understand the pictures part of such books).

I simply can't be a techie... So, now I'm thinking what I am good at.

1. Eating - Although most of you might have your doubts about that; I do eat a lot, it is just that I don't gain any weight.
2. Talking - I can talk nonstop for how many ever hours (I should be able to give RJ Dheena a run for his fame). My friends even tell me that Kareena's character in the rom-com "Jab we met" was vaguely inspired by me. (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you - read in Vivek style). Oh my God, I should be an HR person (any place where non-MBA grads are recruited as HR personnel???)
3. Chatting - I guess that comes under talking too...
4. SMSing - That too is talking??? Come on people... There is nothing else to write in this list!!! Anyways, I can text without seeing the keypad at a great speed.
5. Playing - Carrom board. One of the (read Only) things that motivates me to come to office everyday.
6. Sleeping - Yes... I sleep lavishly....
7. Shopping - I am a girl after all (for everyone who has had a doubt on that - FOR THE RECORD, "I AM A GIRL")

I guess I am feeling too hungry and sleepy to include more in the list of stuff that I am good at (though most of you, by now would have gathered there is actually nothing more to add to it)

Heart at Ettimadai???

Everywhere I find people who are in love with their college life and are desperate to go back in time and live those "carefree, hassle-free, wonderful, colorful" moments. But I don’t seem to understand why they would want to do that. I know most of you who are reading would tell, “Oh, come on Sandy; don’t give us this I-hate-my-college crap again!” I hear you… So I am not here to crib about my college life, which was a disaster to say the least.

Of course, I had my I’ll-never-forget-this moments at my college because I did enjoy it (Yals and Sangu, I hope you are happy now – I still remember the time you bashed me when I told college life was horrible and stuff like that - Yals at AIMS canteen and Sangu at IT block canteen ;-)) But looking back at it, it is the pain and the incidents that caused the pain that flash in my heart. But, as usual I don’t like anyone being sad and I am anyone (of course, I am self-centered… lolz…) Also, I promised I wouldn’t crib about college-life.

So me is smiling now (thinking about the good moments of college). Me is thinking about our first IV (to Ooty for which we boycotted classes); about the innumerable hours we sat and chatted about the “newly formed couples” (I can hear you telling me, “That is called gossiping, you idiot”); of the times we day-scholars just had to open our lunch box only to find them empty within the next minute (Can’t tell you guys, specially Paru, Rithu and Sangu, how happy it made me when you guys finished up the not-so-tasty food saying, “Home food is always great!” It was thayir saadham, dude!!! Anyways, it made me escape from my mom who otherwise would have grounded me for wasting food); about our Somu sir’s gait and the way we sent him out when he came late to a lecture; about the time Narendran told, “Nadandhu varathuku late aayiduchu sir”; about the time when we had no lectures and all hostellers would be sleeping merrily in the hostel and we day-schis roamed around first at IT block canteen, then at AIMS canteen and then at the main canteen; about the hours we spent at Ettimadai railway station platform talking about nothing; about the 4 people-4 parathas-4 minutes….

Wow, there have been so many incidents, so much laughter, so many friends and everything; but still, I feel there were more lessons learnt from while being there than what we learnt from books. I can still hear one of my closest friends telling me, “Unakku eppo, yaarkitta, enna pesanumnu theriyadhu di.” – I still am like that (big sigh). College life taught me the most valuable lesson I have learnt so far – “Don’t believe everyone.” I think I kinda miss it; no no… I’m not missing it. $%@&; Who am I kidding? I miss college life and the few (but real close) friends I made when I was there… I miss you people!!! Love you guys…

B'lore and Chennai

Sorry, I did not write more posts last month. (Or were you expecting a sorry for the posts I have written so far?)

But anyways, I was a litlle held up wit work. I can see your raised eyebrows; but trust me I was working (by that I mean I came to office, played carrom board, took my daily tea/coffee break, played carrom board, then lunch break, played carrom board, then afternoon tea/coffee break and played carrom board again)

I spent the last 2 weeks at the Garden City - well, if you can call Electronic city a part of B'lore, that is. I had gone there for a training and I didn't get a chance to explroe the city as such because I was at office for 10 hrs a day 5 days a week... I had made plans to go for a movie with my friends there during a weekend; but I had to rush to Coimbatore on friday night because my mom was afraid after the bombs blasted on that fateful friday.

Nevertheless, I got to spend a few hours with 2 of my closest friends at Forum mall on the last day of my stay there. B'lore is a cool city. Every other person you meet is a IT/ITES professional. Made me feel like there is no "Aam aadmi" there. Part of me was enjoying the lifestyle there, how thw mall was abuzz with activity even beyond 10pm; but another part wanted to roam around the city and know how the others lived.

It is for this reason that I have fallen in love with Chennai (the city that is home now). This city is for everyone. You come here educated ot not, skilled or not, as a student or worker, rich or otherwise - the city would give you a life. It is unfortunate that the same can not be told of the other cities.

By now, most of my friends know that I am wierd in my own way. When I am bored on a weekend, I go to the bus depot, take a bus and get a ticket to the other terminus and upon reaching there, I go have tea with the conductor and driver and take the same bus back to my place. It is so much fun. It is possibly the cheapest way to enjoy 4 hours on a dull weekend. While in the bus, I talk to my co-passengers, listen to their comments about other passengers, it is even more fun if there is a gang of college guys/girls in the bus - listen to them talk and you wouldn't know how time flew by. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to travel in Bangalore that way. It was probably because I wouldn't understand what the local folks speak or because I didn't have the time. In any case, B'lore didn't tempt me to roam around without reasons.

Chennai is a whole lot of fun! There are thousands of people who say a million bad things about Chennai, but I love this place totally!!!

Dasavatharam... Brilliant work

I had to wait for so long to see the movie of the year - I think you could call it that, given the amount of hype and hard work put into the making of the movie - thanks to my busy schedule (hee hee, sorry for the build-up) and to the fact that the movie was sold out for almost all the shows in all the theatres it is running in Chennai!!!

After watching the movie, I couldn’t help but admire and applaud the creative genius that Kamal Hassan is – no wonder; he is the true Ulaga Nayagan. The movie has science, religion, philosophies, humour, ironies – how much time did Kamal actually take to write the screenplay??? Absolutely mind-boggling!

Few of the incidents that made me go wooooooooooow were:

1. Asin (in the current world) while running behind Kamal (in the place where they bury the Perumal idol) bangs her leg on the same Shiva idol that Asin (in the 12th century, as Kothai) hit her head on and died after Rangarajan Nambi was thrown into the Ocean. Does this mean they are being united again after being killed atrociously in their previous birth?
2. Also they lean against the same Vishnu idol after the tsunami and talk about their future. Does it mean that the same God for whom they left their lives has brought them back together (this includes the small Perumal idol that had the vial in it)?
3. Another interesting incident is where Krishnaveni paatti takes Vincent’s body and puts it on her lap and claims it is her son (even when the other guy – Asin’s father? – says she shouldn’t be doing it).
4. I read about Chaos Theory and Butterfly effect. Is it really possible that a butterfly flapping its wings in China could create an earthquake in Cambodia? I was awed…
5. After the movie got over, I could not help but think that Vincent’s intention of taking the sand smugglers to task is like a step to stop the world from getting destroyed by tsunami and other natural calamities that occur as a result of ecosystem getting disturbed by mankind.
6. Vincent laid down his life while protecting his enemies and their family, even though they had vowed to stop Vincent and his mission; even going to the extent of getting Vincent’s men drunk.
7. Kaliphulla Khan and his entire locality are made to assemble at their mosque when tsunami strikes. Does this mean that God (in the form of local policemen who wanted to question them) saved them?

Balram Naidu is a classic character. Made me wonder if Crazy Mohan was part of the crew! Chris Fletcher is evil personified. Especially the dialogue between him and Narahasi (in the final face-off, “Remember Hiroshima?” and “Remember Pearl Harbour?”)made the crowd go crazy. Amazing!!!

I initially (by that I mean before watching the movie) thought the movie might end up being a big fancy dress competition with only one participant. Thankfully, I was wrong. The story and screenplay was so engrossing that not only does one have to keep wondering what is next, but also forget the fact that it is the same man that is playing all those key characters, thereby justifying the need for ten characters (though some do have the feeling that so many characters were included to be played by Ulaga Nayagan just to achieve the magic figure of ten and therefore justify the title of the movie – I disagree).

Now to a few could-have-taken-more-care things:

1. Apart from Rangarajan Nambi and Govind, the other character’s expressions were not too clear (especially because, we all know what a great actor Kamal is and we still can’t forget his expressions in Nayagan) because of the heavy make up. But still, Kamal totally rocks!!! Hats off to him!!!
2. Before the tsunami, Asin has a red dhupatta (of her salwar) around her neck. This remains exactly so even after the huge turmoil.
3. Tsunami hit the Indian coast at around 8:30am on December 26th, 2004. But in the fight between Fletcher and Narahasi that takes place minutes before tsunami strikes, their shadows are too short (like how it will be at say 11am) for us to believe it was 8:30am.
4. Did they kill a poor monkey during the shoot??? :-(

This movie has made me think so much and now I strongly believe that whatever is happening, there is a reason behind it – some call it God, some call it butterfly effect and some call it karma!!! Finally, what you sow is what you reap!!!

Chennai welcomes you...

Well, recently I debated with my north Indian colleague. He was going on telling about how bad Chennai is compared to Bangalore, how cold people are, how people here are unfriendly, how the food here is so bad, how there are only 2 malls in such a big city, how the beaches are dirty and so on...

I couldn't help but show him that I totally disagree. I myself am NOT a native of Chennai, (I am from Coimbatore) but I think I am considered "a local" because I speak the tongue. So, I had to give out replies to each of his questions, but since I was angry because he was blaming MY city (I think I could call Chennai mine too), I was a little harsh towards him in my reply.

First, he said the people here don't even wanna learn hindi (He expects everyone in the country to learn hindi because it is our rashtra bhaasha), where as those in B'lore or Hyd speak hindi... I am a great lover of tamil and I somehow couldn't stand it when he told tamil is just another regional language. I told him that it was he who has come to Chennai and if anything. it is he who should learn the local language. Would anyone in Delhi learn tamil just because I went there?

Then he was talking about the food habits of the people here. As if Bangalore people have north Indian food all the time. In fact, as much as I know B'lore food, it was way too sweet. Even sambhar tasted sweet. I replied saying food habits are something you shouldn't expect us to change. In north India, you people put aaloo in everything possible (I wonder if they have invented aaloo juice!!!)

He then told about how unfriendly people are, specially the autowalahs of the city. They take advantage of the north Indians' lack of knowledge of the language and charge extra money and if a north Indian goes and even enquires directions to a place, they don't help. I told, Chennai people are considered the warmest of people. You would probably have sounded snobbish. When you are asking for help, you are suspposed to be humble. You approach someone with a smile and a humble tone, none of them would take advantage of you...

I don't understand what problem these people have with being here. They call their relocation to Chennai a disaster. Chennai is such a nice place... Warm people, nice beaches, decent places to hang out, good food...

Wanna save money??? Don't eat....

A friend of mine caught me completely off guard when he told me that some of his team mates skip their lunch to save money. These team mates I am talking about are well-paid IT professionals, who do not have to skip their meals to make both ends meet. I don't understand why they have to resort such thoughtless and depressing habits just for the sake of saving money. Is this whole saving thing that important? If yes, why so??? Or is it just that they want to exploit the free pantry services offered by the organization? Whatever it is, this whole saving money by skipping meals is not just ridiculous, it is disgusting, atleast to me.

I am a complete foodie... I love food. When asked to list out the top 5 things I love doing, eating tops the list. I have heard stories about a lot of people not having enough money to buy food (thanks to phenomenal inflation, the number of stories I hear everyday has increased), but those were about daily wage workers, unable to gather enough to even eat. I pity them. I try to help them whenever possible. In the same country, we have people like my friend's team mates who just don't feel like eating because they want to increase their bank balances. I don't feel pity, I feel anger and disgust for them.

Who are they saving it for if they are not going to be healthy enough to enjoy it? I know this post comes as a surprise to you, because you must have been hearing about the changes in lifestyle of the IT professionals of India, how much they have come to spend and how free they are to spend and how lavish they have become. I agree that a bunch of them actually spend a lot of money unnecessarily (they call it chilling-out, they call it fashion, they call it lifestyle), but there are people who save up money by drinking say 2-3 cups of (free) milk from the pantry!!!

I am not for spending too much (though I can't seem to stop myself when it comes to shopping), but certainly against this unhealthy habit of skipping meals to save for a not-sure-if-it-will-come future....

Rang de basanti

I saw the movie Rang de basanti on star movies last week (it was like the 14th time I was watching it) and it gave me the same feeling everytime I saw it. Only, this time, the intensity of the feeling I felt was more!!!

Guys just like you and I, having fun in a campus, always surrounded by friends, laughing, pulling each others legs, doing the stuff that normal people do, getting caught in a situation that is way out of their control... I can't imagine how I would react when I face such a situation. Well, I did give it some thought after the movie got over...

I don't think I'd have gone for killing the defence minister at the first place, because it made the killing more like a revenge than a punishment. And second thing is that I don't think the youth of today is so impulsive... I feel they would have thought more about any other way of exposing the corrupt minister than to just kill him and then go out in the open with it. Had they not killed the minister, they would not have got punished... So finally, one gets the impression that you try to do anything good, you would lose your life...

The movie states that "ज़िंदगी जीने के सिर्फ़ दो ही तरीके होते हैं । एक, जो हो रहा है होने दो, बरदाश्त करते जाओ । या फिर ज़िम्मेदारी उठाओ उसे बदलने की।" But concludes sadly saying, "You try changing it, it kills you..."

But this is one movie that would haunt me forever...

When lyf throws shit at u...

Just when we think life can not be more perfect, it throws rubbish on ur face, just to let u know it still has the upper hand over u. Well, the same thing happened to me. Lyf is just showing how much capable it is of changing the way u think ,u behave, u reason and everything...

But thts exactly where I am supposed to confuse life. I would have to have teh biggest smile possible to hide all my disappointments and put on my warrior clothes (again, smile and courage r the only clothes i can wear) and get ready to kick some ass...

Just when everything was fine... che... Anyways, if life wants me to be dull and crying and depressed for some time, it ain't gonna get it... Coz, it's me, not someone else!!!

When happiness is all u get...

There are very few moments in life when you feel you are completely happy and content with what is going on... I am enjoying once such moment now. All the happiness surrounding me is making me fall in love with life all over again.

Peace at work, home, friends circle and most importantly, the peace within myself... It's all amazing. It's fantastic to be able to enjoy and pass light-hearted comments even when work is piled up on the desk, without having to worry so much about the pending work. It needs a cool head to do that and till now I never thought I was cool enough to pull it off...

I feel life has not been this perfect for a long time now. It has taken so many years of patience and perserverence to be in such a position now, where I can afford to do what I feel like doing, where I don't have to worry about anything else, where it's so care-free, where I can only thank God for whatever He has given me (without having to find some fault or the other with Him)

Enjoying life!!!

That is the comparison of my facial features with celebs... Was surprised to see even Saif in the list. ;-)

What a month and a half it has been!!! The energy, the cheering (not to mention the cheer-leaders), the teams, the players, the controversies, the celeb owners - IPL had it all... Wait a minute, hmmmmm... Oh yeah, there was cricket too in the middle of it.

I am no expert to discuss whether cricket is moving away from the good ol' elegant game that it was, whether test cricket is dying or anything else. Whatever bad it does to the longer formats of the game, I think T20 is awesome, more so because it doesn't take up much of our times.

As a typical young Indian cricket buff, I like to watch big strokes, fast bouncers, huuuuuuuuuge sixes that send the ball outside the stadium and all that drama. In the case of test cricket, I could not get to see 1 boundary in an entire session, sometimes. I used to get soooooooo bored...

And I had gone to the MAC stadium here in Chennai to watch the match Chennai Super Kings vs. Kings XI Punjab. It went right until the last over where local lad Balaji picked up the first hat trick of the tournament. That is one night I can never forget in my life!!! It was so colorful so loud and so much fun...

I miss running home from work to watch the match and sitting glued in front of the TV when my friends shout at me for not helping them with the cooking dinner thingie... Now there is no excuse for me to escape from that :-(

As a staunch supporter of the Chennai Super Kings, I miss dancing around whenever Chennai batsmen hit a boundary or a six or whenever they took a wicket. I miss reading every single article written about IPL and the matches and the slapgate controversy and the SRK factor and e-mail forwards about what a great employer Preity Zinta is.. Lolz...

Missing IPL!!!

Do we always get what we deserve???

Finally, there has come a moment (after a looooooooooong time) which has made me feel low. It's because I feel like a villian, because of my inability to love the people I am supposed to, because what I am doing may spoil a smart person's career, because I am selfish beyond my own comprehension!!!

No, I am not proud of myself, but I just can't seem to take it when someone else (who, by the way, is less deserving) gets something that was denied to me, coz it makes me feel like a helpless spectator to my own fall.

This raises the question - a question that has been eating my head for a long time, is it ethical to do whatever it takes to spoil someone's life just coz they don't deserve it, given that we deserve it more than they do?

Help me!!!

The ha ha called lyf...: When I am forced to shut up!!!

God has been so cruel...

Didn't it even pass by his mind to make me a lil' wiser when he was creating these awfully painful wisdom teeth??? Wisdom teeth? Plural? Yes, yours truly has a second one growing.

People familiar with me would be shocked to know that I am keeping my mouth shut for another 10 days or so. It is the most gruesome punishment I could ever get!!!

Until the surgery/whatever process is involved in extracting this tiny devil from my mouth gets over (which is again very painful, to say the least) I'll have to cut down on 2 out of the 3 things I love the most - eating and talking, shopping being the only remaining activity that I don't have to cut down on ;-)

This morning the girl who keeps the pantry clean and ready to use told the entire office building is gonna be silent for another coupla weeks... wat a tragedy!!!!